5 Days Left...Love Weekends!

I've been tired as I've mentioned and I'm so glad it is the weekend now! It means I even got to lay down for a while during the day because my husband was around and able to keep an eye on the girls (who were happily outside playing in the mud!).

Some bumps have come up towards securing the payment we need next week for the new place we have put in an application though but I am still hopeful it will work out, and also keeping my eyes open for ways to make some extra money and/or another solution to our predicament. I really hope the bumps are surmountable and will hopefully know by Monday afternoon.

I'm focusing my attention on keeping the vision of being in the situation we desire, safe, stable, and lots of green garden space. Also a peaceful birth that goes smoothly any day now...I'm starting to get regular contractions off and on which is exciting too.

Six Days...

I now have 6 days until I am due to help this baby into the world outside of my body. As one of those people who really hates to admit to just about any kind of weakness I am having a hard time. Money is tight. Now our phones are out of service. We might get a check today that will cover our phone plan as well as a down payment but who knows...maybe we won't!

This on the edge life of not knowing when how much money is coming in is a lot more fun when I'm able to get out there and make some of the money. At this point I have some things I'd like to sell on eBay, lots of clothes to be gone through to take to consignment, and that sort of thing but the energy drain I am feeling is totally totally insane and SO SO frustrating.

I feel like if I could just have a few days of this energy referred to as "nesting" I could easily pull in a couple hundred bucks or at least set the foundation to. Not to mention downsizing like I want to.

Beating myself up for being tired doesn't do much to boost my energy though so I'll just leave it at that. I'm trying not to freak out too much on my husband either as I want his focus to be on making it happen more than calming me down.

We have come up with a new goal as far as the housing situation we are looking for, we have realized that with so many BIG places for rent, we could combine resources to get into a sort of cross between a communal and co-housing living situation.

We posted an ad with this intention in mind and have been contacted by somebody who wants the same thing, yet is actually the owner of the property as well which is HUGE...now we really just need this elusive check to appear and seal the deal.

Part of what we really want is to have a nice gardening area and so I have been spending time in the garden to up the intention on this...right now my daughter is out there watering plants too :-)

I really hope we get this place, though it'll all work out even if we don't as I'm sure we will find something better.

I haven't written for a few days as I've had internet trouble and blogger.com doesn't have an iPhone app far as I could find...now I have internet and no phone service, go figure!!

Oh well.

I feel like baby could come just about any day...and also know that if history repeats itself that it would be July when our baby is born, so we will see...we will see.

First Viewing Delayed...More Coming

Our first viewing was delayed this weekend, we are still hoping it will happen though, keeping in touch with landlord.

We have found a few more places that look really good, we are opting for moving further out and having more space to do things like garden and play outside. We will miss some things and people in our neighborhood though, I'm focusing our search on south King County and Kitsap County just west of West Seattle.

We need at least 2br, preferably and definitely want a yard suitable for playing and gardening. Being close to transportation that can take us back to Seattle is important as well. Price close to $1,000/mo.

Due in 17 Days...Elusive Calm

Yesterday was like living in a pressure cooker.

Aligning priorities and how to make them happen is very difficult to do sometimes, in particular for me it is difficult when I am pregnant and consumed with wanting a safe stable place to live and rest once baby is born.

My husband, who is ever insightful and a big picture thinker wants us to focus on our big life goals and believes that doing so will lead us to finding the ideal stepping stone to that place. Normally I would very much believe in this. Right now though, I am tired. Thinking of packing absolutely exhausts me, I have not moved forward with much organization even. I feel huge, dependent, and so tired, so so tired.

I'm not sure if I'm depressed or if this is just because I am technically ready to give birth any moment.

My thoughts are focused on staying rested, fed, and hydrated because birth could start at any moment. I am very consciously NOT worrying too much about how the next two months will pan out though sometimes, especially late at night, I pretty much am a basket case thinking of how/where/when we will be able to move.

Part of my stress is that my husband, who is wonderful, is taking on so much. Of course this is kind of expected since I'm not able to do as much as I normally would. I wish I had energy to help more. I wish I was more domestically and organizationally inclined. I wish that my body didn't get tired simply standing up doing things like typing this blog post or looking at rental listings online.

Other parts of my stress are all of the "to-do"'s that are piling up it seems each day, for example we need to:

• Find a pediatrician for the girls and new baby
• Find someone to help/do the placenta encapsulation
• Pack
• Gather things to be given to Goodwill
• Photograph and list things to be sold on eBay (ideally before moving so that items are gone and we have some extra money)
• Compiling a list of all our magazines and accounts to be informed of our new address
• Compiling the contact information for the kids at my daughter's school so we can stay in touch
• Writing a letter to my daughters teacher that yes we are moving though do not know if we will or will not stay in the same school district
• Baby announcements? We will be doing these through our SendOutCards account which I'm not allowed to link to here but if you comment with an email I can send you a link if you like. I'm grateful that all relevant addresses are already in there so it will just be uploading a few pix!!
  

Then of course there are the things I want to get done for other reasons, like making money!

• Draft the ebooks I have been meaning to write
• Update my personal site to be more succinct and organized in a way to more consciously attract the kind of clients I am looking for.
• Write up the review I've been asked to write for a salad dressing
• Write up more articles and blog posts relevant to the market I'm focusing on and the ebook content deep dives.

Oh and the whole summer thing...

• Find and pay for a couple weeks of fun summer camps, probably focusing on bugs and swimming for my daughter
• Find sitters/friends/family to help with the kids etc. during the moving and post birth recovery time

So yes, I'm thinking a lot about these things, but after each thought "calm down, it will all work out, just stay calm, it will all work out" I have even taken to saying the serenity prayer at times which is not something I normally do, it is a good message though and I do feel a little bit calmer when I say it aside from the strange memories I have that led to me learning it.

Okay, that was a good dump of what's going on. Today is better than yesterday, I'm more tired, but getting some alone time which is nice. My husband and I haven't argued at all which is also nice. I'm glad there are leftovers from dinner last night to reheat and feed the kids with. I'm feeling more at peace right now than I have been.

Probably the biggest stress is:

• How the heck will we get any place to rent to us when we have totally lame credit scores including a foreclosure and bankruptcy and no 'steady' income as it all comes from contract gigs?
  

That's the kind of how I'm not to worry about though...just to focus on the outcome and the universe will make it happen. I'm looking forward to telling you about when that happens.

20 Days Til Baby Expected!!

SO...it is looking like we will have to be out of here by August 1, the goal is to find a place by July 1 and then to move as fast as we can with me in a post-birth state over the next month.

I have been increasingly tired and fighting depression...hard to find balance between obsessing over 100's of things to do and focusing on peace and serenity in preparation for our home birth.

First Viewing...

Next weekend we are looking at a house we found on Craigslist. It's outside the city limits of Seattle though not very far out there. It would be peaceful and a different way of life for sure, close to the water, transportation, and lots of gardening space.

I have not been doing well with the 'organizing' part of my plan, ADD mixed with being insanely tired from the pregnancy/stress etc. has not really been very helpful. Dirty dishes are piling up and it's hard to think of doing much other than sleep and keep the kids safe. Keeping the main living area clear has been a priority.

My husband is working on Ramit Sethi's plan to find contracting/freelance ways to earn an extra $1,000+ a month so I am hoping that works out. I have skills I'm looking to market as well so I'm creating lists and doing some research as well. If we can make the money we can pay someone to help with packing and organizing I figure. It's not my strength to organize 'stuff' so it would be soooo helpful.

Proud Mama!!!

I'm so happy for my daughter, she has been wanting to be a student of the month for a few months now and today we found out that she has been selected!!

We have been working on it and talking about things like doing what the teacher needs before they have to ask (like sitting down/being quiet etc.) and it is so exciting that this has all paid off for her :-).

I'm not thinking so much about moving today, finding ways to celebrate her accomplishment...definitely going out for pizza tonight and something else...but what?

She's wanted her room painted pink for a long time...tempting but might make moving harder...who knows could be a dream come true though too.

Also she's been wanting to paint, I'll definitely set up her easel before picking her up today.

Considering a little Leap Frog toy too...she loves playing games on my phone, maybe it's a good reason to reward her with her first little gaming console...

I'll figure it out, I have about 4 hours!!

First Discussion With Realtor Tasked With Our Removal

Apparently came down to:

"30 days and $3,000 or 60 days and $2,000"

Wow.

So it didn't go as hoped, but hey, this lady is just doing her job right? I still don't understand the benefit considering we are willing and able to pay now, and even just getting the house sell-able will take a lot of money and some time (unfinished kitchen, 2 bedrooms, and basement).

Lucky us though, we get a fresh start.

So while we are waiting til early next week to talk to the woman again about what we decide to do, we are absolutely getting started on the organization. If anyone reading this has any great coupons good for those big plastic storage bins or anything like that from Ikea/Target/etc. please let me know in the comments.

Didn't sleep so well last night, those 2yo molars are coming in and causing my little one to wake up quite a few times a night...hoping tonight will go more smoothly.

On my way to go visit the midwife now.

I suppose the main decision is, given the options we have, either move right before the baby comes, or right after the baby comes. Neither is even mildly appealing at this point.

I hope I never have the need to do business with Chase or Freddie Mac ever...ever ever.

Would Love To Live At Home

I just stumbled across and older article in the NYT about allowing lower income folks to live in foreclosed homes. I think this absolutely makes sense for homes the owners have abandoned.

I find it really frustrating though that here we are, asking if we can pay rent or work out a new loan agreement now that we are able and instead they just want us to leave so they can find someone else to do the same. We want to pay to live there, I doubt anyone else would though I guess time will tell.

...sniff.

Here is another more recent NYT article talking about situations like ours, where despite being willing and finally able to pay, we have to leave according to banks so that the house can be empty to sell. I particularly liked reading the comments in this one.

Project Planning

My husband and I were able to really discuss what is going on for the first time today. Last night I was freaking out a bit that we hadn't come to any conclusions and we agreed to just wait til today, and it went well.

I'm very grateful for the local family support we have that took care of watching our younger daughter for a few hours since these discussions can get a bit heated!!

We have come up with a loose action plan that includes 3 projects which cover our stuff, our plans, and our resources basically. These are projects to take care of either before or during the next few weeks:

Streamline:
We have a lot of stuff, and are pretty much packrats in our own very ADD kind of way. Seeing as how I'm having a baby soon nesting has started a little bit, with me mostly organizing things I can easily move like the massive stacks of paper. I have made some progress but we need to do more.

I see this project as a much much bigger project though that can be done over time. What I want to do is to clear out anything we aren't using on a regular basis, to either sell it, give it, or store it if we want to keep it for a later time. I figure if we keep only the essentials (for example only 4 plates/bowls/etc) then our lives will be easier as there will  be less stuff to deal with, and if we do end up moving urgently then it will be less stressful.

Since we don't know exactly how long we will have to stay then it makes sense to keep it all as minimal as possible. I would love to stay and figure that if we do somehow figure out a way to do this then we will be starting fresh and have a clean slate to selectively add things into our lives in a much more conscious way. If we move we can move the essentials, live simply and then we can do the same.

Conscious living and choice is our priority at this point.

Budget:
I think keeping a budget is always a good thing...however we haven't really been good at this one. Still having separate accounts, separate streams (or lack of) streams of income etc. has made it a bit complicated.

Enough with excuses.

Now I'm going to be pulling together approximately what we 'need' to have and pull all that into a spreadsheet to see what we really are able to do with what we are planning to be bringing in.

Ideal Living:
We have some big goals of things we want to do in life, mostly taking place in a few years, so we are looking for something that will keep us comfortable for the next three years maximum, 1-3 is the estimate. To make this as ideal as possible it has to be a lot of little things. This project is coming up with a list of the variables that we require in a place we will stay long term (see picture) and includes things like number of bedrooms, being close to things that improve life like parks, pea patches, grocery stores, maybe a zipcar and/or public transportation etc.

We will also have some things on here about neighborhoods we like, where we have support and weigh those options accordingly.

So... Our plans are starting to come together. I would really like to stay in the house at least 60-90 days, if our baby is born late as both of my girls were then by the end of 60 days would be approximately when my 6 weeks after birth would be done and I'd be approachinge able to walk without making a big mess and be approaching overall functionality etc. 90 days and we're talking about spending most of the summer at our house which means I can help more in the move too.

I'd also love to be able to harvest at least some of my garden, peas and strawberries should be appearing pretty soon...

I Love My House

I moved into my house, with my husband and our two daughters just about two years ago, well almost two years ago. I am due to have a baby in 29 days. We are to call the agent in charge of selling our house for the bank in 48 hours.

During the year prior, my husband had basically built the inside of the house, it was leaning, and many adjustments were made to joists, new flooring, new walls, new design, and so so much more. It was a real effort of love, sweat, and tears. Also in that prior year I'd lost my job, when I was 8 months pregnant which seems to be the start of a trend that I'll get into later.

Since then, we have been experiencing financial hardship. Mortgage hasn't been paid in a long time, and we have been doing all we can to get work and stabilize on some level while providing as nurturing an environment as possible for our two children. We just started coming out of this, and could afford to pay mortgage payments finally, though not the back payment. Our house was foreclosed upon last Friday, my husband was at the auction and nobody wanted the house.

I should mention the house is unfinished inside, next door to an illegally clear cut lot that will likely cause sliding on our property, and is hardly ideal in any way, except for us as it is our home.

Ownership has been transferred to Freddie Mae though as I found out today via the upper document on the picture above. Eviction proceedings have begun, and we need to contact this agent assigned to sell our house within the next 48 hours.

I started this blog because yesterday marked one month from the estimated arrival of the child growing and kicking in my belly as I type this. I am experiencing so many big good and bad things, that I need a place to share it. I'm not ready to be public about it yet in relation to my 'real' web presence (though I will likely import this into my established blog at a later point).

I don't want to move. I have a five year old in school, a two year old who spends most of her time during the day with me, and a garden that I love. I have told my husband and many other friends that the effort we have put into this house and making it liveable and ideal for us has resulted in a warm fuzzy "hug" feeling whenever I walk into the front door. I really do love this trashy place and will always have fond memories of watching my husband creating what it is.

I am also planning on having a home birth, one that I have fantasized about since conception in the lovely tub that we have here which is one of those big deep footed tubs. My eyes are wet just writing that, it is something I have wanted for a long time. I remember back when renovations started the tub was almost given away, and I insisted we keep it for that reason.

I love watching my girls bathe in that tub, I enjoy bathing in it, and we have even managed (when I was smaller!) to all fit into the tub together for a 'family bath' of sorts.

My garden too is something I have put a whole lot of effort into. I started back when we first got married, so before we actually moved in and it's my third year of planting, harvesting, and enjoying the fruits of that labor with my family. Prior to this I had always been in apartments and being able to have land to cultivate has been a dream come true. I have even written about the therapeutic benefits of it that I have experienced.